London

From Hitchhikers Guide

For all of you hitchhikers out there who are unsure whether to stay in London while you stay on the much wider and generally fatter earth take my advice, don't. London is the most expensive city in Europe and it has more shit on the sidewalk than feces has flies on it. I wouldn't touch London with a long barge poll.

London is hectic and has unending noise that literally makes your brain bleed. Do not stick a babel fish into your ear at this time otherwise it will just explode, leaving you with a pile of fish gunk stuck in your ear.

[edit] The mayor

At present, the mayor is one Boris Johnson. This man is huge and looks like a ponce and he is. How he got to be mayor is any body's guess but it seems to me people must have been retarded. No really, some assassin should pull the trigger on that guy.

[edit] London in 2012

As you probably guessed I'm British and yes, I'm now gonna have a rant about how much money the government is putting into it. Fucking tons. Anyway you hitchhikers really do not want to be in London during 2012. The terrorists will make a big boom boom. It'll be either the IRA or the fucking Taliban or else. Shit man, i just know something bad gonna happen.

[edit] See also

City's: A guide for hitchhikers